Toddlers and Dogs: Realistic Strategies for Their Safety and Your Sanity

My toddler and one of our dogs.

Toddlers and dogs—undeniably adorable, whether they're snuggled up or playing in the yard. While there's abundant information on keeping toddlers safe around dogs and vice versa, I struggled to find insights from a dog training professional who personally navigates the dynamics of having both a toddler and a dog.

As a professional dog trainer and the mother of two children, with two dogs, my goal here is to provide realistic safety strategies for toddlers and dogs. These strategies aim to maximize safety for your family and also preserve what's left of your sanity.

Learn to read your dog.

As a toddler parent, this might just be the most important information you learn about dogs.

While we often think of growling, snapping, and biting as the biggest signs of a dog being uncomfortable around a toddler, they actually give us so many other signals. Some of them are so subtle that you'd absolutely never notice them if you weren't looking for them.

Here are some of those low-level stress signals you may see when toddlers and dogs are together:

  • Lip licking. It looks like a very quick flick of a dog's tongue, and it's one of the most common, but most subtle, stress signals you may see from your dog. You'll typically see it during a toddler/dog interactions like hugging, kissing, or bumping into one another.
  • Yawning. Believe it or not, yawning is a very common sign of a dog being uncomfortable! It's a subtle way that a dog may attempt to diffuse a stressful situation, but it's commonly mistaken for a dog being tired. Watch for this during interactions.
  • Avoidance Behaviors. If your dog is trying to walk or turn away from your toddler repeatedly, allow them that space, and redirect your toddler onto another activity. You may have to physically separate the two if your toddler is extra-persistent!
  • Whale Eye. This is a fancy term for a very specific look you'll see in the eyes of an uncomfortable dog. They'll typically be turned away from the child, but still staring back at them with a tense body. You'll notice that you see a significant portion of the whites of the dog's eye, hence the name.
  • You can find some excellent visual representations of these body language cues below, courtesy of Lilli Chin.
dog body language

Don't fall into the blind trust trap with toddlers and dogs.

The worst bite to a child I've ever seen was delivered by a golden retriever. The child was badly bitten in the face, to the point of requiring surgery. His mom told me that she didn't think it could happen because of the dog's breed.

Put simply, there is no dog of any shape, size, breed, or temperament that is not capable of biting under the right circumstances.

Trust the body language you're seeing from the dog in front of you, and use that objective information instead of the inherent bias you might have towards your dog's friendly demeanor. You just cannot blindly trust any dog to never, ever show an aggressive response.

And most importantly: you simply cannot, under and circumstances, leave a dog and toddler unattended. It is especially critical that dogs not have access to a room with a sleeping infant or child.

"My dog would never…" is a mindset that could really backfire on you and your child.

Set consistent boundaries with your toddler.

While a big part of safety with toddlers and dogs falls on management of the dog, there's also a toddler-teaching component that I don't think gets talked about enough.

Toddlers, especially those under 2 years of age, require extra monitoring around dogs. They're often mobile, loud, and may grab, slap, squeeze, and hug dogs if given the opportunity. They also don't have the physical or emotional level of development to understand what's appropriate behavior around a dog, and what isn't. If you're struggling with your toddler's emotional regulation, Big Little Feelings is an excellent resource to check out.

So as the parent, it's your (exhausting) job to monitor every dog interaction as your toddler develops, redirecting your little one right as (or ideally, right before) they begin to get too rough with the dog.

Model gentle petting for them, and help redirect any hard pats into softer, gentler strokes. Praise them big time when they get it right! Pair this with a word or phrase like "gentle" or "gentle pets" and make it a fun game for your toddler.

Any rough petting, hitting, slapping, face or tail-grabbing, or other not-so-appropriate behavior should be immediately interrupted and redirected into something else, even if you need to separate the child and dog. There's no need to punish your child, and doing so can actually exacerbate the issue.

Remain calm, consistent, and use phrasing like "I won't let you hit Rover. Hitting hurts. Let's go play with your toys instead."

Give yourself, and your dog, a break.

I can't emphasize enough how important this is. As both human and dog parents, we all simply need a break from time to time. Think about that first time you got to enjoy a quiet dinner without your kids, or took a hot shower without anyone interrupting you.

We love our children, but we all need a break from the rigorous demands of toddlerhood.

Our dogs need those same breaks.

As toddlers start walking, they may bump or fall into a dog in the home. They may become louder, will start to experience different emotions, and will become an overall bolder presence in your home.

Despite our child having two professional dog trainers as parents, even we could not always perfectly manage the interactions between our toddler and dogs. So please, don't expect perfection from yourself!

Instead, consider some of these options to give your dog a break, and to give yourself a break from constant management:

  • If you have a family member that can give your dog a "vacation" away from your home for a week or two, this can be hugely refreshing for a dog that's struggling with a toddler! (Especially if your kiddo is going through an extra-grabby phase or starting to throw things)
  • Social dogs may benefit from 1-2 days a week of doggie daycare.
  • Create a decompression area for your dog that can't be accessed by your toddler. Fill it with favorite toys, chews, a comfy bed, and consider feeding their meals in there as well. All you need is a baby gate or a play pen for this!
  • Try to find a way to give your dog some one-on-one time when your toddler is sleeping; even just a 5-minute training session or a game of fetch can provide a bit of relief.

Provide safe opportunities for toddlers and dogs to spend time together.

When toddlers and dogs are together, we want these interactions to be fun for everyone! Depending on the size and temperament of your dog and the age of your toddler, here are a few things to try:

  • Let your toddler "help" with feeding time. This might mean just holding a food scoop, dropping a few pieces of food in the bowl, or holding the bowl while you scoop the food. Then be sure to help them understand that dogs must be left alone while eating!
  • Have your toddler feed your pup a special treat that only they are allowed to give him or her.
  • Older toddlers can make great buddies for playtime, especially throwing a ball!
  • We love teaching the "touch" cue to toddlers and dogs – this is an easy and fun way to get even young kids involved in the training process.

Recognize when to seek help.

Dog aggression towards children of any age warrants immediate professional guidance. There is simply no room for error, especially when infants and toddlers are involved, as even a mild-to-moderate bite can be both physically and emotionally devastating to a young child.

If your dog appears to stalk or stare at your child (not in play), has growled, snapped, or bitten, or if you are seeing a concerning amount of stress signals from your dog, please seek one-on-one professional guidance!

We offer both virtual and in-person dog training, and are happy to help with any toddler/dog issues you're experiencing, or can direct you to a referral in your area. Contact us for help.

For more training guidance, check out the rest of our blog here.

24 thoughts on “Toddlers and Dogs: Realistic Strategies for Their Safety and Your Sanity

  1. Great article. I don't have kids myself, but I would love to in the near future and found these tips helpful and very important to keep in mind.

    This is the first time I come across your website and would like to ask for guidance. You see, I have two adorable and easy-going pitskies (half pitbull, half husky, but I'm sure you already know) and I've tried my best to train them to the best of my capabilities.

    The one thing I've had the most trouble with is walking them in an orderly manner. They are always more than eager to get out of the house and when we finally do leave, it is an intense match of tug-o-war between me and them (separately), to the point that my elbow wishes to know nothing of the two.

    I live in Honduras, Central America, and dog training is not a "thing" here. People would rather not deal with their pets than pay incredibly high fees to have someone help. I happened to know of a vet clinic that has a side business of dog training, but only with the most basic of commands, and dog-walking, however, due the the terrible rep pitbulls have pretty much everywhere, they did not bother to respond after knowing my dogs' ages and breed.

    I would love ANY info on the matter, since all I find online are for small and or already trained and well-behaved dogs, so no hands-on techniques are available.

    Thank you for the time to read this and wishing a response of any sort.

    Best regards,
    David Lopez

  2. Excellent article. Super resourceful and eye opening. My daughter is 2 as well and one of our dogs, Chico, is super stressed around her. She is unpredictable for him. He barks and growls at her. Our other dog, Kojak, protects her and barks at Chico whenever they have an issue. After reading your article, I will be more attentive to Chico’s signals and hopefully avoid any interaction. Do you have Instagram? I will save the page anyways in case we need a training. You can find us on ig @chico_and_kojak. Thank you again for all the information and experience you shared in the article.

  3. I have a dog I got from the shelter and she will nip anyone except the baby's daddy and I pick up the baby… what does that mean

  4. Hello, just came across your page today. I'm in Australia, and have a 17 month old pitbull/amstaff mix. He has always been well mannered and we were very pedantic about behaviour training due to his breed. We have a 7 month old baby that is becoming more and more mobile every day. The past few days our dog has become quite skiddish around bub. Today he lunged and snapped at bub during tummy time (I was able to jump in front so only I got nipped and not bub). We have done our best to praise the dog when he does well and to teach our little one how to treat the dog, but he is only 7 months old. How can I prevent this behaviour from continuing or getting worse. We really don't want to have to rehome our dog as hes part of the family, but also don't want to live in a house where I cant trust my dog.

  5. This was amazing, we have a dog a two years old and a 7 months old.

    Our dog usually runs away from the toddler as she tries to hug her or grab her paws. But they are perfectly fine playing fetch.

    However recently our dog jumps at both the baby and toddler for food if they have snacks in their hand. This has become more common and more aggressive recently and when we have guest or family over she jumps for attention.

    Do you know if there is something triggering her? She wasn’t this loud or needy before for food but now its so hard to eat when she is around.

    1. This is very normal and typically just a crime of opportunity! If possible, put your pup away when kids' snacks are out and/or guests are over. You can also work on a "place/stay" and/or a "leave it" as other options for keeping your dog away from your toddlers' snacks 🙂

  6. My two year old constantly throws things at our 4 month old puppy. How do we stop this. She is starting to get scared of him and this is not what we want. We try to tell him to stop but he does not listen. Please help. She is a black lab mountain curr mix. The most sweetest dog ever!

    1. My son was like this as well! Sometimes it's best to keep the dog and toddler separated for a few months until this phase passes (the more attention you draw to the behavior, often the more often it happens). In our case, we had my parents keep our dog for a few months, then when she returned home it was a non-issue.

  7. Thank you Alex for one of the best articles I’ve read about this so far (my daughter is nearly 5 and our Aussie is 8 yo). If you have learnt more since this article as a parent of humans and dogs it would be great to read a follow up. At almost 5 my daughter is very confident around dogs and my dog very relaxed around kids but we have worked hard on this, now I’m wondering about other dogs as my daughter has approached other dogs in ways that have worried me and I’m running out of ideas as to how to explain the potential risk. Any tips would be welcome, specifically re dogs that are relatively well trained but not as relaxed around kids and may snap/bite of surprised, approached too quickly etc

    1. Thanks so much – I'm glad you enjoyed it! I totally understand where you're coming from – personally I don't let my kids meet dogs unless I know the dog well and their history around children. Check out Family Paws – they offer excellent educational materials on this: https://www.familypaws.com/

  8. We just got a rescue today who had previously been in a home with kids and so was supposedly going to be good with kids. We spent a bit of time with her and had our toddler and the dog interact (closely monitored) before deciding to bring the dog home. Everything went well until I dressed my daughter in her fleece onesie and brought her out to say goodnight to the dog. The dog then grabbed my daughter by the sleeve but caught her arm (breaking skin) and it took my husband and I both to pry the dog off our tot. Even then the dog was growling and trying to grab the baby again so we separated them. Obviously I feel horrible as we had been watching them closely and STILL this happened. I want to take the dog back immediately. She might be okay with adults, but clearly not kids. My husband wants to try training with a pro but my anxiety is through the roof. Advice?

    1. What you're describing is definitely a dangerous scenario, especially the dog continuing to go after the baby even after being separated. Safety for the child comes first and this doesn't sound like the best fit for the dog or for your family.

  9. My daughter thinks it's okay for her border collie to "correct" ( she pushes him with her nose) my 8mo grandson.
    I always thought humans were to correct dogs not the other way around?

    1. This is likely a natural herding behavior. As long as teeth aren't going on skin, that behavior alone is likely nothing to worry about. If you have any concerns about the pup's behavior towards the child, I'd definitely recommend enlisting a qualified professional to review the body language with you.

  10. I'm curious about something, and I wish to have your reply and insight…

    My wife is 2 month pregnant, and an opportunity came to adopt a Labradoodle puppy that curiously is 2 month old.
    Labradoodle have been a dream to have for me, and here in Costa Rica it is not to frequent that you find them, so here is my question:
    How young can you start training a dog to deal with a baby? Would a 9 month old dog be too young?
    Having a baby and dog growing together sound magical, but I have to be realistic, I want to know if it would be doable, or if it is too much of a pipedream.
    I have been looking over the internet for an answer but I have not seen any. We would deeply appreciate your answer.

    1. Congrats on your baby and possible new dog! The answer is – it totally depends on the dog! Getting a puppy from a young age gives you the opportunity to socialize your puppy with babies, toddlers, and children. As long as the dog has an outgoing temperament and you spend some time socializing before 4 months of age, you have great chances of this being a success.

  11. Hi! We just got a new 1 yr old Anatolian Shepherd. She is sweet and already has some great skills. However she gets bursts of puppy energy. I’m worried she is going to knock my one year old over when she has one of these bursts because she tends to lose her space awareness. We put her outside when she gets like this, but she doesn’t like that and sees it as a punishment. Do you have any other ideas or suggestions? She also is mouthy like a puppy wanting to knaw on an arm or hand gently. We are not letting her, but having a hard time training that out of her. Do you have any suggestions? Your article was very helpful- thank you!
    DB

  12. Thank you for this article! I feel more relieved of where to start on how to manage handling a one-year-old toddler and 9-week-old dog.
    It has only been a week since we got our dog and I've been getting overwhelmed with trying to juggle between the two. I can handle my toddler. However, the dog isn't fully house trained so he tends to make a mess. We weren't necessarily ready for a dog but now that we have him we are already attached.
    My husband works overnights so it's hard for him to help me with the two. But I won't give up on our dog. I just need to get in a routine for the two.

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